And Then They Grow Up...

Berry Baby the First has left the nest. She has gone to a city far, far away, much further than the city I went to so that she can attain a higher education.

What happened? Where did the time go? Wasn't it just yesterday that she was the silly little girl with the ponytail and the giggles? I thought she was just a little girl who needed help doing up her zipper and who wanted to watch Disney movies all day long.

Where did she go?

I spent some time Facebook chatting with this delightful young woman. I have always said this of the Berry Babies: They are magnificent children. They are well mannered, well spoken, talented in many areas, and generally a delight to be around. (And let me tell you that I work with teenagers. There are not too many teenagers I actually want to be around in my off time. These Berry Babies? I could hang out with them till the cows come home).

I'm a little bit jealous, I won't lie. She is off living the life that I once lived, where people are coming and going and things are happening all the time. She is getting together her textbooks and figuring out how to work her laptop and finding her way around campus. I just said to her tonight, I wish I could go back to university at the age of 26. I would so rock that place.

If there is any human being that I have faith in, it is in this girl. Her intelligence and maturity continue to astound me, as she has always astounded me. Her sense of humor, her ability to adjust to any situation, her desire to do well... I'm astounded.

I was worried at first the weekend she went away. What if she ended up like me, living in Hell with a howly cat and no friends? What if she was sad and lonely and felt like she had nowhere to go? How would this wonderful, sweet, angelic girl cope?

But she is not friendless or sad or alone.

Because she is wonderful.

I look forward to each and every step along her journey. I look forward to hearing about it and to remembering those steps that I took along my journey.

She Rides Again....

After a five year hiatus from horseback riding, SuperNan is in the saddle once more.

We had a house full of visitors today (And by a house full of visitors I mean that you couldn't hear yourself think for periods of more than 3.6 seconds at a time) and when I took out the tall and wondrous Zydeco, Nan felt the urge to hop back on.

If we could all mount so gracefully, the world would be a better place.

He and I had a brief lesson during which time: Small children bounded in and out of ditches wielding an assortment of weapons (Including, but not limited to, dressage whips, swords, and the infamous Poison Parsnip [Or Crazy Tomato. Whatever.]); Dogs fought, snarled, and barked inches away from the ring; SuperNan decided that the trees beside the ring should be trimmed DURING THE TIME SHE WAS TEACHING ME; and SuperDad decided to ride Tia with a bit for the first time. IN THE SAME RING AS ME.

Zydo spent some of the time eyeing things with interest, and some of the time glancing at me from under the saddle, balefully asking in a hushed tone WHY I WOULD BOTHER TO RIDE HIM IN SUCH A CIRCUS.

Clearly I need to up my dose of CrazyMeds.

At any rate, once I was done with the shenanigans of riding amidst such hoop-la, SuperNan decided to give it a go for a moment. She walked, she trotted, she leg-yielded, in that order. He said "Ok." Then, "Yes, Ma'am." And Finally, "Are you kidding me?!" (In that order.)

Internet dating? Wouldn't recommend it even if I hadn't found an internet dater who knitted on dates.

Internet horse buying?

Clearly the only way to buy a horse.

I Cheated On My Horse Today...

Pictured above is the Berry Queen's horse, Pilgrim. Pilgrim and I have had a love/hate relationship since I arrived here in BerryLand, one that consists of her loving to hate me. I have just been trying to have her not eat my head for breakfast every day.

Now, Joomy thinks that I sometimes exaggerate, but I have to tell the story here and know that I am NOT EXAGGERATING. I was standing by Pilgrim's stall, waiting patiently for her to finish her grain. I suppose that she decided that an audience was not needed for the finishing of the grain, and this is when all hell broke lose. The horse actually snorted at me, pinned her ears, and snapped out with her teeth mere inches away from my head. I don't know how much experience my readers here have with horses, but when a horse's wide open and angry mouth snaps inches from YOUR HEAD, you get a little bit scared.

I have to say that I've never had that experience before and I did take the time to note that MY ENTIRE HEAD WOULD HAVE FIT NICELY BETWEEN HER GIGANTIC JAWS.

I rode Pilgrim today with Berry Baby the First on her horse, Amy. SuperNan gave us a lesson and Berry Baby did wonderfully. Pilgrim would have none of my methods, however, and every chance she got, she trotted over to where the Berry Queen was looking on and gazed longingly at the person she actually loves.

Riding Pilgrim was a feat for me, however, simply because I am scared of horses. I know it seems ridiculous for a person scared of horses to want to ride horses, and that is something I have been working on of late. I am trying my damndest to get over my fear of horses, to be a ballsy rider who looks insanity in the eye and then hops on for a ride.

Pilgrim was neither insane nor too ballsy, although she did try to foist me from her back by ramming me into the fence a few times. I even have the welt and bruises to show for it. I had about three minutes of perfection with her, during which I felt the wonder and power that comes with working a horse and managing to do something right.

That feeling of awe and knowing that my movements can control something that could easily toss me to Kingdom Come is the reason I look insanity in the eye and then hop on for the ride.

Here we are...

One house.

Two toilets.

Fourteen inhabitants.

Two babies.

Five children.

Seven grownups.

Violent 24-hour stomach flu.

You do the math.

I'll take two of those.....

I was fortunate enough to be able to spend a night at BerryLand on Thursday. I was feeling slightly overwhelmed when I got there, perhaps because we had to spend an hour in the car with Berry Baby the Fifth who was wailing her little Berry Baby heart out for a large portion of the ride.

The mixed feelings I have towards domestic life in general tend to freak me out fairly often. There are times when I'm at the Ranch, or in BerryLand, surrounded by children and animals and noise and excitement when I think, Dear Heavens, why would anybody do this to themselves? And during those times, I picture my life as a quiet, serene existence surrounded by nothing but my guitar and my cat. No Man to argue with, no children to chase around, no boo-boos to kiss better, no bottles to prepare, no yelling to be heard or done for miles. Usually at this point I make a mental note to call the doctor and have a tubal ligation done within the next three weeks, and then I plan my savings account with which I will purchase large quantities of tequila and Canadian Lager, and envision my beer fridge as overwhelmingly large and devoid of baby bottles and left over strained peaches.

I was feeling this way when I got to bed in the early hours of Friday morning, having discussed all my life's issues with the Berry Queen and consumed the better part of a 2-4 of Miller Genuine Draught. I was especially feeling this way while I was trying to check my email and nurs a hangover and above me was a herd of six year olds thundering about, making no less noise than a herd of hippos.

As the day wore on, I spent my time in charge of children: changing the baby, wandering around with her, making her bottles, yelling at the other kids, and feeding her baby food. You'll have to excuse me for one moment now, while I gush about the joys of feeding a six month old her baby food because OH MY WORD. How cute is that? You put the food on her little spoon and she shrieks with joy and leans in and eats it all up and gets her little face covered with fruit-flavored cereal-y goodness and COULDN'T YOU JUST EAT HER UP? And then, after she's finished her cereal, you can sit down on the couch with her, curl yourself and her into a little ball of Johnson's baby shampoo smelling wonderfulness, and watch her drift off into sleep whiles she puts back all four ounces and you know what? When she outgrows this wonderful stage of smelling good and laughing when you kiss her little neck, I'm sure she will be a champion beer chugger.

And it's times like these when I'm thinking SIGN ME UP FOR THIS SHIZ-NIT because how could there be a better way to spend your life? If not surrounded by diapers with little teddy bear patterns on them, and soft flannel blankies that smell like fabric softener, and toys and the wonders of catching a baby learning how to roll over in video on your camera; if not spending your days helping children get their breakfast and buttoning buttons and tying shoes; if not tidying bedrooms and making beds and tripping over doll clothes and choosing an outfit for the day where the shirt matches the socks because DEAR GOD THE SHIRT HAS TO MATCH THE SOCKS... Well, what else would you ever do with your life?

And while I sometimes laze about and fantasize about not doing anything but staying awake until the early hours with an unGodly amount of beer coursing through my veins, I really have to say that even though there was some vomit, some screaming, a giant booger that got shot from the nose of a six month old at me, and a few diapers.... well, the glee on the little one's faces while I played my guitar and the children all pretended to be drummers and the baby bounced in her exersaucer seems to make it all worthwhile.

Toonses