Thursday, April 14, 2011

Should I Post?

What should I write about? My mother's puppy named Lucy, who torments me but who I am trying every day to love? About my new car that is not an SUV but that does have very sexy tires? Should I write about the fiasco that was procuring them? The boy I had to flirt with shamelessly to get those tires?

Should I write about how my mother broke her toe underneath a horse? Should I write about the vacation I took from riding when my hopes and dreams began to fall apart at the end of February? Should I write about how, when my vacation from riding horses turned into a hiatus, I decided not to return to riding?

Should I write about how I feel like I'm missing a leg without riding but at the same time I'm so very, very happy about my decision? Should I write about how, every time someone asks me if I've quit, I feel like screaming "Yes, I've quit, because my fucking horse is dead!" Maybe that would be overkill, but maybe it would get people to stop asking.

Maybe instead I should write about the little boy I used to work with, and how I fought and fought to be allowed to still visit him every week. Maybe I should write about how every now and then, when I'm on one of those visits I fought to get, he looks into my eyes and the entire world is cured of its ills because he smiles at me. That's all it takes.

I could write about work but it would bore you to tears, so I won't even go there.

Should I write about my beautiful guitar that hung on my wall for about four years never being touched? About how I quit touching that guitar due to a burst of stage fright I had one night, which was when I quit playing and singing?

Maybe I should talk about getting back on stage again. How my anxiety is more related to fixing my hair before a performance than the performance itself.

I could equally write about how I've begun to sing and write music again. I've been playing my guitar until the unfortunate souls I live with have begged me to please, please shut up so they could have a moment's peace. I could write about the vocal lessons I've signed up for and the record label my vocal coach has recommended me to. I could write about the band I auditioned to sing with last week and how they emailed me again for a call-back. (Or is it a callback?)

I honestly think about writing on this blog every single day. I've no idea how to start or where to start.

I figure that a good place to start would be a picture of me doing what has currently captured my soul.

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Blogger Siuan @ Snowbound said...

It sounds like you have been busy. Good for you for going back to something that makes you's nice to see you writing again.

1:24 p.m.  
Blogger Jeanne said...

I like reading your honest voice. It is probably good for you when you're going through all this transition crap. You have so much vivacity in you, you do so many cool things. Hope you recognize that in yourself.

5:09 p.m.  
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Anonymous Jummy said...

You can write about all these...and more! I'll be happy to read 'em all!

3:29 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love playing guitar. My favorite song is hotel California.

5:10 a.m.  
Blogger chamara said...

Hi..amanda..I'v checked your blog..and its very nice...I must say that i'm very new to blogging. If have a time come and see my blog and comments are welcome..Thank you...

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