What a rider looks like:



The Berry Queen gave me a vest and in the fall, when you're a rider, you must have a vest. You need to wear layered clothing because when you start out, you're freezing, and once you've worked yourself into a sweat, you need to be able to take your layers off without pulling things over your head. Enter: the perfect vest. It is down, it is red, and it fits like a dream. I just feel like such a real rider when I wear it that I had to post it on my blog.

And then you have myself and Sargy-Pargy Pumpkin Pie getting ready for a lesson.



Have I mentioned that I love my camera person?

I Just Can't Believe I'm Here...

My life has become fantastic all of a sudden and I'm not sure what to do with it. (That is not to say that my life has not always been fantastic but certain stressors have existed over the past few years that have left me feeling rather overwhelmed).

I want to run screaming through the streets about how everything has turned out. I have finally landed that job that I thought I would never, ever get.

Sargeant and I had another ride tonight and I can't get over how well I'm doing with him. While I do enjoy Sargeant he is a little... well, he's a little powerful. He's kinda strong. He likes to go and leave me feeling like a passenger waiting for him to slow down, only he doesn't really slow down of his own free will.

Since my lesson a week ago I've been working on our transitions and I can't get over how well we are doing with them. I haven't been turning into a terrified slab of jelly on his back every time he does something and when I have a ride like I had tonight, I feel like I am on top of the world.

I am just so excited. I am excited to start living my life the way I wanted to live it, the way I've been craving to live for the past several years. I get to ride, I get to sleep at home every night, I get to sit on my couch, I get to socialize when I want to socialize.

I also have my own living room now that the Clifford Cave has been rejuvinated. Yesterday I gave Dixie a Thanksgiving bath, thinking that I would be thankful for a Beagle who doesn't smell like a combination of the creek, fish, mud, decomposing raccoon (Her favorite thing to roll in), and barn. I washed her thoroughly, starting out with dog shampoo and then giving up because it just wasn't cutting it. I then proceeded to wash my Beagle using Pantene shampoo and conditioner and OH MY WORD. Her hair has never shone so brightly.

After Dixie's bath, I used the blow dryer on her which left her feeling less than impressed. After that, however, I invited her for a nap with me in the Clifford cave and we curled up together, in all of her glorious smelling goodness, and slept the way a Beagle and the person who loves her should.

Things are looking pretty good.

Amanda's Relationship Status Has Been Changed to "Single"

I've never wanted to date a sports person and, in fact, I never have. I could never, before now, stand those people who have to run from playing to whatever sport to watching whatever sport and who eat, breathe, and live that sport.

Over the summer, I have become that person. I am now officially willing to put every other task in my life on hold so that I can go to the barn. Everyone in my life is put on hold for the horse I am riding, the people I ride with, and the rides that I have.

I now understand sports people.

In July, I wrote this post. I was officially dating someone for the first time in years.

Did you know that when someone adds you as their girlfriend/boyfriend on Facebook, you get a relationship request the same way you get a Farmville request?

Well, I didn't know that either because for as long as I had facebook, I haven't had a relationship. Sure, I've dated every single male within a hundred mile radius over the past several years, but a relationship?

No way.

So this summer, I made a valiant effort.

And I was officially "In a Relationship With" for several months.

I started riding Sargeant and at that time, big things started appearing in my mind. Riding competitively is something I have wanted since I was a little girl. When my Golden Opportunity arrived early in September, I nearly fell off my feet because this is what I've been looking for my whole life.

And this wonderful soul I was dating all summer started to feel the effects of my passion.

It was never my intention to make him play second fiddle to my desire to compete but in the end, that is how things happened. I truly thought I could combine riding for real, having two full time jobs, and being "In a Relationship With".

When I met this person who I was "In a Relationship With", I really thought this was it. I didn't meet him online, he has a long-standing (if not distant) connection to my family, he came with excellent references and everything seemed to be perfectly fine. I honestly thought this was going to go places.

The fact of the matter is that there is no way I could continue on with him being hurt every weekend when I was late because I'd been at the barn, when I stood him up to stay at the barn. He asked me to go away for a weekend in October and my first response was that we could leave late Friday night: Right after I ride.

When I wrote my long, sad, pathetic, self-indulgent post on being alone I had no idea my life would turn out the way it has. I had found out a few days before that post was written that my horse would not live through the fall. I thought when I lost Zydo I would be losing riding and so I embarked on this relationship thinking that it was to become what my life should be about.

Everything changed later in the year and I suppose that is all I can say about this situation: Life throws you curveballs that make you think you're supposed to live a certain way, and then a couple months later it throws you another curveball and you have to decide to swing or strike out.

I suppose, in this case, I have both given my best swing and a sad, nearly heartbreaking strikeout.

A Golden Opportunity...

I went to a party the other night with all the other riders at my barn. (Well, my mother and I are both riding at the same barn, so I suppose it is 'our' barn). At this party was my present coach, and I happened to mention something about showing horses to her. The mention of riding competitively was done in an offhand manner and between shots of tequila so I certainly never thought that too much would come of it.

Two days later I was at the barn for my usual Monday night ride on Sargeant and his owner came to me while I was having my pre-ride smoke. She just walked in and said "Are you going to show Sargeant for me next year?"

Am I going to? The first thought in my mind was, Am I allowed to show Sargeant? Obviously her question answered my question in the affirmative.

Of course the only thing I could say was yes: Yes! I want to ride, I want to be on a horse in public, I want to try my hand and mastering some real skill.

Before Zydeco died, I always thought it was a slap in the face to him for me to be riding another horse. I will never love another horse the way I loved him. I will always cherish everything about that horse. I miss his face every single day.

But here I have an opportunity that I never had with Zydo: He couldn't show at recognized shows because of his arthritis.

Sargeant can. The conversation went on about whether we would do silver level or not, and there was some debate over whether I need the experience of a couple low-level shows before I move on to the big times.

I then tacked up Sargeant and rode him for all he was worth. And this part sounds stupid but this is what I was doing: I was listening to a caller in my head, calling out the moves as I rode them, practicing perfect form and wondering what it would be like to do so in white breeches for a crowd.

I'm soon to be out of work which has really, really gotten me down. But while that opportunity has shut its doors, this opportunity has come knocking and I feel like, in equestrian respects at least, I've landed on the moon.