Wednesday, November 08, 2006

An open letter to the Berry Babies....

To my Dearest Berry Babies (and you KNOW who you are!)

I have to write this letter with a little bit of sadness and a little bit of happiness. I am sad because I know that you, dear Berry Babies, are sad that your kittens are no longer in your house. And I know how sad it can be to watch kittens go.

However, I am happy because your lovely Mom spent the day with me and bought me all this:

I know that to you it looks like a bunch of groceries, but to me it looks like a bunch of supper. When you've been in school as long as I have, you really do begin to appreciate the meaning of that word. Mmmmm, supper. I digress.

You know, Berry Babies, when I was younger my mom used to let me take one day off school every six weeks while I got my braces tightened. I used to get to go out to lunch, see Berry Baby the Eldest and Berry Baby the Second, and of course, get my braces fixed. Don't worry, Berry Babies, I'm working on your mom to fix you up with the same deal. I think it would be lovely to have a day every six weeks where all of us can go to lunch and catch up. Because every berry season is not nearly enough.

I am happy, though. You Berry Babies have done something wonderful: You have shared your kittens with three girls who will love them very much. Your kitties will have excellent homes with very nice college students, all of whom work at the SubShack with me. My cat, however, is not very impressed with me right now:
Well, perhaps she is unhappy because of these kitties taking over her apartment. And make no mistake, it is the cat's apartment and not mine and not my roommate's.

I really think that your kittens will have fun at College. The same fun that you will have one day. They will experience the joys of eating no name cat food, much like you will experience the joy of eating no name Kraft Dinner.

Your kittens will also learn what it is like to live in a cool apartment with crazy purple curtains and a view of the city. Indeed, after only a single afternoon here, they've learned that they can be studious, they can be Tarzan, they can fling kitty litter about the house, and they can pretty much do whatever their little hearts desire.

Your kitties can also nap here, as much as they want, on a couch that was once upon a time a cow. And what could be better for a kitten to nap on than a leather couch?

So I have to say, Dear Berry Babies, that I think you should cheer up. I would never let someone have your kittens if I didn't know in the bottom of my very heart that these girls will take excellent care of them. Your kittens will grow, and prosper, and turn into big, fat, lazy city cats. And because you have given my friends the joy of a pet, I have to say a great, big thank you to you!




Post a Comment

<< Home