Saturday, September 30, 2006

Queen of my Own Throne...

Sometimes I think about this life and where it's going, and I feel filled with hope. I think I'm especially lucky because not too many people have a definite idea of where they are headed and I do.

And that makes my heart happy.

I was sitting in the concrete ghetto that is my school today, waiting between work and school, and I thought of how deflating the scene would have been two years ago. I most certainly would have fled back to Hell to lay on my bed sobbing until I broke out in hives. But now everything is different.

I get to leave. I get to go home. I will never again walk by an organic potato shop on my way home from school. I will never again be forced against my will to live surrounded - quite literally - by a million people who I don't know. I will never again live in a building with two hundred other people, actually under the same roof, who I don't know and who don't care to know me.

I think of life back home on the ranch. With SuperNan and the Precious Boy, my Dixie Dog, my family.... Close by the guy who owns the store and who talks your ear off every time you go in. Right down the gravel road from the skating rink my Great Grandfather and my Grandfather built so many years ago. Nearby my crazy uncle and his garden of peppers and tomatoes. I don't even eat tomatoes. And I can't wait to live near them. Gallons and gallons of tomoatoes. They're probably even organic ones.

I get to go back to BerryLand one more time, and manage the fields under the direction of the Berry Queen. And the Berry Babies can all stop by the field on their way home from school to tell me about their days. And bring me a Coke.

And I sit and I smile and I think, one day, I'll be the Queen of my Own Throne. I'll have my own BerryLand. Who knows if I'll ever have my own Berry Babies... If not, SuperNan can have me forever. She even said so. She said I can live at the Ranch forever. SuperDad seemed less than thrilled, but I'm sure he'll warm to the idea once I stop mooching up all his smokes and beer. I'm good like that.

Yep. Just me, my fruit, my CowTown, my cat. My family.

No concrete. No strangers. No organic potato shops. Business for myself.

I think of my Throne, and of one day, in the distant, distant future, being the Queen of it....

And it makes my heart happy.



Anonymous Jummy said...

It certainly sounds idyllic. I envy your knowing where you want to end you someting to work towards.

9:52 p.m.  

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