I Feel Like a Human Being...
The last few weeks I have felt the best I have felt in a long, long time. And no, not through the help of pharmaceuticals. Amazing.
I've been participating in the activity commonly known as regular hours of sleep. Also, I've had a regular work schedule, with normal 3-11 shifts. I work, I go to sleep, I wake up, I have free time, I work, and repeat the cycle.
Let me say that the last five years of my life have been rather hellish. Never mind the whole nervous breakdown thing, but even before that and after it, it has been incredibly hard on my person to be working, schooling, doing work placements, and trying to fit in some free time. Exhausting, even.
At this point I must say that I am incredibly happy. I feel balanced. I feel whole. I feel like waking up in the morning. I even feel like waking up in the morning and putting on pants. And after facing many days where putting on pants seems next to impossible, it is absolutely wonderful to face the day wearing pants without struggling to want do so.
Sometimes you have to make your life about very simple goals. Working in very simple terms for the last several years has helped me get through to this point.
I'm finally at a point in my life where putting on pants is no longer part of my goals, where I can move on to bigger and better things. I can make my list of goals and know that I can achieve them wearing pants, and that wearing pants wasn't the first part of the goal. The actual goal is the goal.
I don't think I need to work in baby steps any more, and that is very thrilling for me.
I've been participating in the activity commonly known as regular hours of sleep. Also, I've had a regular work schedule, with normal 3-11 shifts. I work, I go to sleep, I wake up, I have free time, I work, and repeat the cycle.
Let me say that the last five years of my life have been rather hellish. Never mind the whole nervous breakdown thing, but even before that and after it, it has been incredibly hard on my person to be working, schooling, doing work placements, and trying to fit in some free time. Exhausting, even.
At this point I must say that I am incredibly happy. I feel balanced. I feel whole. I feel like waking up in the morning. I even feel like waking up in the morning and putting on pants. And after facing many days where putting on pants seems next to impossible, it is absolutely wonderful to face the day wearing pants without struggling to want do so.
Sometimes you have to make your life about very simple goals. Working in very simple terms for the last several years has helped me get through to this point.
I'm finally at a point in my life where putting on pants is no longer part of my goals, where I can move on to bigger and better things. I can make my list of goals and know that I can achieve them wearing pants, and that wearing pants wasn't the first part of the goal. The actual goal is the goal.
I don't think I need to work in baby steps any more, and that is very thrilling for me.
Labels: Goals
posted by Amanda at 23:43
3 Comments:
This is great.
Don't be afraid to still move in baby steps though: I've noticed in my life that when I try to accomplish huge goals without going the baby step route, I often fail.
I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better than you have in a long time.
What a great place to be :-). Hurrah for baby steps.
Cxx
This is great news!
I was wondering if you suffered from any side effects when you went off of your meds. I'm in the process of experimenting with going anti-depressant free and I keep having these electric shock sensations. If you had the same thing can you please give me some tips on how to deal with it.
Thanks so much and I'm so happy to hear that you're feeling good.
Thanks so much, Leigh
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