Saturday, August 05, 2006

Fat Pants...

So, I have a new job. Which, of course I'm thrilled about.

But I have a problem.

The size of my ass has expanded considerably over the last few months. I'm getting bigger and bigger by the minute.

Which presents a problem in wearing clothes.

Now, I make it a point to not spend money on work clothes, because I make like seven dollars an hour.

So, having not bought any pants in months, and having an ass that is expanding by the minute makes working difficult, since all of my pants that I wear to work are from first year.

How do you get them done up, you ask?

Well, I don't. When I work at the SubShack, I have an apron.

I was discussing this with my roommate in the presence of a Redneck Boy yesterday.

Me: I don't know what I'm going to do! Like, go out and spend fifty bucks on clothes for a seven dollar an hour job? I'll have to work two shifts before I've made any money!

Roomie: Well, what do you wear at the SubShack?

Me: Well, my black pants...

Roomie: So, wear those!

Me: I know, but I can't do any of them up! I'm too fat!

Roomie: So....?

Me: I have an apron. I wear it and no one can tell that I'm so fat that I can't do up my pants!

Redneck Boy: Wait a minute

Me: **

Roomie: **

Redneck Boy: Does this mean to say that when you see a girl at the SubShack, she's not wearing pants that are done up?

Me: No.

Redneck Boy: But you just said...

Me: Well, it's true. There are girls at the SubShack without their pants done up.

Redneck Boy: *Stupid Grin* Nice!

Me: But that only pertains to the fat ones, so move on.




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