Monday, April 24, 2006

I can sleep when I'm dead....

I've heard people say that they are tired, but they'll sleep when they're dead. I have never understood this sentiment.

Until recently.

I realize now that, no matter what, I actually do have to get my lazy ass out of bed and go to work in the morning. I have to study at night and try to maintain some semblence of a social life. I need to do the laundry, clean my house, pay the bills, find time for leisure reading and post on my blog.

This has proven to be quite the exhausting feat.

Thus, I've taken on the notion that I will, in fact, be able to sleep when I'm dead.

I wonder, though, at what point does this philosphy become unhealthy?

Because over the last few months, and occasionally throughout my life, I've woken up in the morning, surrounded by the same things I was surrounded with the night before, in the same clothes and in the same house, in the same part of the same country that is still located in the same part of the world and I've wondered: Am I still living this life?

That's not to say that my life is bad. I love my life. I love who I am, and I love being me. I have the best family, and I love my friends to death. I have a cat and a place to live and a job and I am currently the Berry Princess, soon to be Queen of her own throne.

It's just that I'm tired. My back is achey. My eyes are watery. I can't stop yawning. And I would do anything to be able to sleep for twelve hours consecutively without being awakend by the creepy chick who lives above me (Who, by the way, I'm sure is working on an audition for the musical Stomp, judging by the pounding and slamming that emmanates from her floor every day.) Then, after I've slept for twelve hours consecutively, I'd like to be able to lounge with a good book and absolutely nothing on my mind for the rest of the day. At this point, I'll rent a good movie, and then drift into another twelve hours of peaceful slumber.

This is my dream. Unfortunately, the reality is that I need to work to pay down my credit card, my student line of credit, and to buy the necessities for my new home.

So, this is me posting about my dream of slumber.

Unless this dream comes true any time soon, I'm kinda stuck with the idea that I can sleep when I'm dead.

If nothing else, this leaves hope for the future.



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