Saturday, April 22, 2006

Dear Prosti-tots of the world....

Dear fifteen year olds who think it is cool to walk around half naked:

I'd like to say that your outfit would be less offensive if you hadn't bothered putting on an outfit at all.

I do not understand, in and way, shape, or form, how you can feel that the flimsy miniskirt, thong underwear, teeny tank, and flip flops you put on this morning constitute clothing. I believe that the amount of makeup you are wearing on your face probably outweighs your clothing by about a pound, and that the situation needs to be rectified as soon as possible.


The Toonse Brigade

Seriously though, what is up with the clothing that young girls are wearing these days?

Yesterday I was walking downtown. I saw a very young girl wearing a tiny miniskirt. It was a windy day, and it was flowing happily in the breeze.

She may as well have been naked, because her skirt was flying up in the breeze and you could see the entirety of her ass, because of course she was wearing thong underwear.

Now, some girls have been blessed with great asses. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them. I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it. But I'm also a believer in leaving something to the imagination.

Now, as my readers know, I hate feet. I hate them with a passion. They are gross and ugly and if someone is sitting near me with flip flops on in class, I find it incredibly distracting. If you tried to paint my toenails or massage my feet, you'd likely lose a tooth because I'd be kicking you in the face.

Flip Flops these days have gone to the extreme. The thong part of them that goes through your toes is pathetic. The soles look like they would be sturdier had they been designed out of wax paper.

So, there was this young girl, meandering about wearing a piece of string on her ass, a floaty piece of material around her waist, a camisole, and a pair of shoes that didn't contain enough material to actually constitute footwear.

And I'm wondering, when did this become acceptable attire?

I'm fully aware of my farm girl tendencies. I know that where I come from, girls dress differently than they do in the city. I'm a jeans and T-shirts kind of girl myself. And they're not belly-baring T-shirts either.

I have to wonder, though: is it a matter of having great self confidence? I could never go in public with most of my naked body on display for the world to see. I just don't have it. Hell, I have trouble going in public in form-fitting T-shirts.

I wonder though, if it is more likely some desperate plea for attention?

Regardless of young girls' motives for wearing such ... articles? I'd really like to see some changes before the day comes that I have kids. Well, if the day ever comes.

Dear Fifteen Year Olds Facing the Pressures of Dressing in a Modern World:

It's fine to be covered up. If the popular girls at school make fun of you for not dressing like a sleazy whore, it's ok to tell her to fuck off. If a boy won't be your boyfriend because you're not apsiring to someone else's expectations of how you should dress, you're far, far better off without him. I want to see you learn to empower yourselves with the knowledge that being a teen sucks, but you should live it up! You should be free, be happy, and throw the pressures you face to the wind! (And while you're throwing pressures to the wind, you should cover up your ass in public)

I want you to know that one day, you'll meet people in your work, your school, your community who are cool, hip, and whose asses aren't sticking out of their pants or out from under their skirt as they walk down the street: And these people are cool! They're funny! They love to watch cheesy movies and dance at clubs gossip about idiot boys!! They will support you when you cry, laugh when you laugh, fix your makeup before you go out, and tell you when you have broccoli stuck in your teeth!

And really, when it comes down to it, the people who teased you for being such a loser in high school will undoubtedly come to be jealous of the careless confidence you've developed while keeping your body covered. They will be jealous of the fact that you have what it takes to be supercool, superchic, sexy without being slutty, and most importantly? That you can be you without living up to anyone else's standards.

I know it's hard, girls. I know that if no one in the world has faith that you can change, you probably won't change.

Please know that I have faith.


The Toonse Brigade


Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol....Amanda you make me laugh, but what you say is soooooo true!
Yes I do think they dress like that for the attention, then we wonder why there are so many perv's in this world! Then again we have to thank some of the young celeberties and I am sure a few of the older ones who also dress this way and when the young teens see this they often think it is hip and cool to walk around half dressed. I myslef never dressed this way as a teen or I would have had my ass kicked! I guess times are changing where less clothes is best? Who knows with this crazy world we live in!!

1:05 p.m.  
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