Coming out of the closet...
My habit involves those miniature Dubble Bubble gum balls. I love them. I can't get enough of them. If anyone is planning on getting me a birthday present this year, get me gumballs. Lots and lots of them. Last exam session, I went through a 500 gram package of gumballs per day.
I chew them only for as long as it takes for the flavor to run out. Then I sit them into a paper towel beside me and pick out more gumballs.
It always must be two gumballs of the same color in my mouth at the same time. I have a little gumball machine, and when it gets to the end of the package of gumballs, the misfits go into the machine.
I chew gumballs until the sugaryness makes my mouth hurt. Sometimes I repeat this gross habit again and again ujtil my mouth can no longer register that there are gumballs in it, and the paper towel with my used gumballs on it is piled so high that I have to start a new paper towel. Sometimes, after I've chewed for a particularly long time, I'm even immune to knowing whether or not the flavor is there. I chew until my jaw clicks and my teeth hurt, and my tongue is blistered from all the sugar.
I blame my mother for this habit. As a child, I was forbidden gum. I used to hide in the barn, chomping away on my illicit gum. My dad would sometimes give me gum in the barn as well, but only ever one piece. I need a lot more than a single piece to satisfy my gummy desires. When I was ten, I got a full round of orthodontia. I used to sneak to the public school down the road on the pretense of wanting to play on the playground equipment. But really, I would spend the money I would collect from around the house on gum at the corner store, and sit on top of the play construction, and chew.
And now, it's public knowledge. You will very rarely see me chew gum. Denteyne on a date, maybe. Beyond that I can't stand to be seen chewing gum. I can't stand seeing people chew gum. It reminds me of cows and I have dealt with way more cows in my lifetime than I ever wanted to.
As soon as I'm alone, the desire takes me over and I must have gum.
As I say, it's hard to be a crazy person. Although I must admit, I do feel better having let out my secret. I love you, blog.