Monday, March 16, 2009

Sanity Reigns...

My parents have left me to my own devices once more here at The Ranch. The last time I was left here alone, Tia lost her mind. No, really. Her mind was no longer at one with her person. She trashed the barn, spun in circles in her stall until I couldn't even get in to feed her, and then she kicked me.

After that, I told my parents that they were no longer allowed to leave me here alone caring for horses, as I don't feel that I should have to risk my life as part of a contract for living here.

And oddly enough, here I am. After lengthy discussions, emergency planning, and ideas on how to deal with every horse misbehaviour that exists, I am alone with horses.

I have my trusty neighbor friend coming over twice a day to help me care for these horses that we own. I was pretty nervous this morning but we went out and fed grain and changed blankets and began this process that we refer to as 'turning out.'

In normal barns, turning out is not an anxiety inducing process at all. You clip your horse to a lead and bring it to the pasture. Process over.

In my barn, however, I am frequently near. And when I am near, insanity reigns. Myself and Tia alone are enough to give normal people full on heart attacks.

Now, Tia does not particularly like men (Except my father. She loves my Dad.) and so my neighbor friend was instructed to not go near Tia for fear that her brain matter would boil up into her skull and make her incompetent to be lead.

On the way out of her stall, Zydeco, that dastardly fool that he is, attacked Tia and tried to bite her. In response, Tia reared high in the air (Or, as high as the ceiling would allow her to rear) and bolted out of the barn.

I knew she was freaking out, so I used one of the tricks my father has taught me over the years: Go Forward. Tia and I went forward with fervor, and once we rocketed our way out of the barn, she heaved a sigh of relief and walked daintily beside me.

And I am not even making this up.

Tia, the Dancing Queen, the Spinning Enthusiast, the one who is known as She Who Can Not Walk Without Being Four Feet Off The Ground...

She walked daintily beside me.

I did think it kind of odd, and wrote it off as shock due to my horse trying to eat her on her way by his stall door.


Tonight? On the way back to the barn?

She did the same thing. She walked like a little angel, with her head down and her feet firmly planted on the ground, with no spinning or jumping or staring at objects that aren't to be identified by human eyes. Just daintily into her stall.

And then she proceeded to spend the rest of my time in the barn trying to cuddle up with myself or my friends who were with me, nuzzling into our palms and rubbing her face on our jackets.

Clearly, pregnancy agrees with her and has a calming effect on her personality.

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