Sleepy McSleeperson....

After spending a day yesterday with a lack of oxygen flowing to my brain, I felt a little bit sleepy and headed off to bed at five to nine. This has never before happened in my life as I am usually physically incapable of thinking about bedtime before two a.m. Being a crazy person has its perks, because this way I always know the newest and coolest gadgets for sale on late night infomercials.

Obtaining oxygen still feels like a bit of a struggle, but fortunately tonight I am seeing another doctor who has already promised that he will make me be able to breathe again. I'm not sure what he's going to treat me with, like a magic wand or a potion made of frog's eyes and the toes of small children, but whatever it will be, I'm looking forward to it with glee.

I had a nightmare last night, one in which I was drowning in water that I was trying desperately to cough up. But then I realized that I wasn't in an ocean or a pool or with my head in a bucket at all; I was laying in bed. And then I realized that I wasn't dreaming at all, either, and that this was real life. I was laying in bed FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE against this thing that has caused me to cough consistently for the last ten days.

I blame the Berry Queen. If she had just sprayed more harmful chemicals on the fruit, this big would have been killed by now. And here I am, forced to resort to ALCOHOL.

We all know how much I hate it when that happens.