Sunday, February 11, 2007

Things are looking up....

Last week I had the pleasure of visiting with Dr. Chuck for a while, and he prescribed me some acne cream for the ever-present acne I've acquired since becoming an adult. The cream is working wonders on my skin, peeling off one layer after another in a haze of burn-y goodness. I'm pretty sure that this particular cream could get a person very, very high if a person were to shut the bathroom door and inhale its fumes for longer than eighteen seconds.

The down side of this cream is that my face is so dry and hurt-y that flossing, smiling wide, yawning, and doing any number of other things that require facial contortion is now rather painful. I'm quite terrified that some day I'm going to sneeze too soon after an application of this cream and my entire facial dermis is going to drop right off of my skull and leave me looking like something out of a horror movie.

The other day in search of a cure for this excessive dryness, I went into the pharmacy to see what they have. This is where I find that I'm not too good at being a woman: it's bad enough that I can barely navigate the feimine paper section, but the lotion section overwhelmed me to the point of needing Clonapin. Chased down by tequila. And five cigarettes.

Unfortunately, I didn't have any of those three items with me, so with a friend from class I started reading all the information about lotion.

Good God.

There is a cream out there for every possible part of your face and sometimes I wonder how any woman manages to get up in time to apply each one in its proper location, in its proper order, at the proper time of day. Did you know that there are certain lotions to apply in the morning, and different ones to apply in the evening. I was a little confused by the difference between evening cream and overnight cream, and it led me to wonder: are you supposed to put one lotion on after dinner and a different one before bed?

How do people learn these things? Is there, like, som fundamental class in high school that I missed out on? Because I truly felt as though I needed a degree in something other than Sociology to try and understand what is what.

At any rate, I gave up on reading the different boxes and bottles and decided to go with a Neutrogena lotion that claims to be light, oil free, and perfect for sensitive skin. I don't even know if my skin is sensitive or not, but at this point, considering that I smooth a layer of noxious-smelling chemicals over it each night, it needs all the TLC it can get.

If nothing else, despite the fact that I think I may fail womanhood altogether and if I have a daughter who needs to learn these things she will be shit out of luck, I feel much better about my appearance. When Dr. Chuck asked me about it, I told him that acne isn't something that I dewll on or that particularly bothers me. I guess it must have bothered me more than I thought because lately I've been looking in the mirror and thinking, 'nice!' Not only that, but I'm more able to be in public without thinking that people are staring in horror at a monstrosity of a pimple that is threatening to swallow up the whole world with its greatness.

Looking good, feeling good...

Things are looking up.


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