Thursday, January 11, 2007

Copying Joomy Rocks!!

I'm copying Joomy yet again, because she comes up with such wonderful lists of things to do (Or in this case, not do). I think it's important to have lists when you're single and looking in this world. It helps keep you centred when you're caught up in the warm and fuzzies and trying depserately to not notice any shortcomings an individual you're interested in has. Because trust me. They all have shortcomings. And most of them have lots.

So, as the song goes:

"I would do anything for love, but I won't do that."

For me, that is:

I won't live in suburbia. If you're scared of cows and the possibility of living in a drafty old farm house with a small herd of mice to keep you company, date someone else.

I won't change my religion. Unless I want to.

I won't dye my hair or change anything about my style (Or lack of style. I don't think jeans, jogging pants, and T-shirts constitutes a style).

I won't move far from where I was raised. They may try to shoot you, or run you down with pitch forks, but my family is an integral part of my life. If they turn out to not like you, you can just have a lot of poker nights with the boys after we're married.

I won't quit smoking. Unless I want to. I have been known to quit in the past. But when I feel like smoking, I'm damn well going to smoke. I will have the courtesy to brush my teeth after, though. And wash my hands and change my top.

I won't promise to like your mother (But I will try. Briefly. After my brief period of trying, I'm going to go back to hiding at my parents' house every time you have a parental engagement to go to.)

I won't give up naming random things around the house. (I think Big Al the TV, Snuffalupagus the houseplant, and Alistair the thing that used to live in the drain would be sad without names, thankyouverymuch).

I won't quit eating the carcasses of dead animals, nor will I put an end to my dream of one day making a living (or part of my living) off the sale of said carcasses of dead animals. I'm not an animals rights activist.

I won't give up my love of milk, nor will I try to do away with my hatred for cream cheese. I've never tried it. Your love is not going to make me try it. Please move on.

I won't make it part of my routine to shave my legs or pluck my eyebrows. I've managed to find true love before with hairy legs. I believe it can happen again. And if not, my parents really are screwed because then? They WILL be stuck with me for the rest of their lives.

I will not give up my love for Degrassi, ER, or RoseAnne. I will beat you with the remote control and bind and gag you with my crocheting if you talk during any of those shows.

I will not get rid of my cat. Even though she hates me, and I hate her.

I will not stop wearing long johns in the winter.

I will not jeapardize my future (Which means that if you're looking for a partner in crime, move on.)

I will not likely have sex with you. I WILL likely tell you this on the first date, just to get it out of the way. Some people accept it, some people don't. Move on.

I will not jeapardize my credit rating. I need to buy a house in the future.

I will not pledge allegiance to something I don't wholeheartedly agree in or with.

I will not give up my love for cold beer on a hot day. Because that's right up there with sacriledge.

I will not make you learn to hunt. But I guarantee that I will ridicule you until you can't take it any more, and learn how for the sake of shutting me up.

I will not make you learn how to drive stick. But I will ridicule you until you can't take it any more, and learn how for the sake of shutting me up.

I will not make you play swords with my nephew. But I will stand by looking entrenched in some other task while he looks at you with big, pleading eyes and lets you have the good sword. Hehehe.

That's the list for now. I think it's fairly comprehensive. I think it's a good thing to have in mind when looking for a boyfriend.

Not, however, that I AM looking for a boyfriend. But if the time ever comes that I AM? I have my handy list to refer to. And seeing as how it's posted on the internet, so does he. Tricky.



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