Tuesday, December 19, 2006


Here I am. I'm doing well. I have one more exam to go.

The drug that the city doctor gave me is slowly working its way out of my system. I've been feeling the effects of that the last few days, but thankfully Dr. Chuck gave me some other medicines to counteract the effects of the drug leaving my system.

My best friend says I should sue. My Dad tends to feel the same way. Essentially, this doctor gave me a very powerful drug, at very high doses, and did no follow up care. I had every possible bad side effect from this drug, along with the fact that it was not helping my anxiety and depression at all.

I am angry. I am angry that it had to come to this, because it didn't have to come to this. When Dr. Chuck prescribes a new medication, he's on the ball, scheduling two appointments per week to make sure my progress is good.

It could be a matter of him having more time on his hands, being from the country and all. It could be that he's developed a relationship with myself and my family since I was seven, and so he cares that much more.

At the same time, with regards to my city doctor, I feel that I'm a grown up girl. I should have noticed weeks and weeks ago that this drug was not working. I hsould have taken control of my own health. But I kept telling myself, this is a DOCTOR we're talking about! Surely she knows what she's doing?

I guess the moral of the story is to listen to that little voice inside your head, or that aching deep inside your belly when you know that something isn't right.

I believe it was about this time last year that I was screaming and carrying on about the water in Hell that had turned my hair orange.

Well, now this Satanic Drug From Hell has wreaked havoc on my newly naturally colored hair: It's made my hair fall out. My roommate has been bemoaning the amount of hair in the shower drain since I started on this drug. My mother noticed it last night and I had her run her fingers through my hair. It is noticeably thinner. My ponytail is noticeably smaller. My Mom inspected my head for bald spots last night, and there are none, which means that the hair is falling out equally throughout my head.

However, regardless of the pattern of falling out, I'd really prefer that my hair stay firmly where the Good Lord planted it.

Regardless, this is just one more reality of the healing process that I've begun. Hopefully my tresses will be full and natural again at some point in the near future.

Off to study for my final final...



Anonymous Lahra said...

Oh lady, lady, lady! My heart aches for you! If I were you, I'd be wanting to blow stuff up right about now, (such as your city doctor, for example)! I'm so sorry you've been forced to cope with this crap! *HUGS*

12:20 p.m.  
Blogger Smilin Tweety said...

aww -

well good luck girl, it sucks going on the whole rollercoaster ride, but at least now you have a good doctor! (I'm looking for one BTW).

You should good just in time for the holidays! =)

6:58 p.m.  
Anonymous Jummy said...

GOOD LUCK with the final final, Amandarama! You are a superstar for pulling through and doing them.

2:46 p.m.  

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