Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Overwhelmed By Life, Part II

Ok, so if you haven't read my last entry, scroll past this one and read it first. I didn't name it Part I because I didn't think I'd have to make two entries about the overwhelmingness of this life in THE SAME FIFTEEN MINUTES.

But thanks to my school? Here I am, blogging away my frustrations. Seriously. These people make me want to impale myself on large pieces of farm machinery WITHOUT protective body gear because I think that would be more fun than dealing with them.

Email: From: My idiot School
Subject: Ajout du cours SOC4517

**Me interjecting here. WHAT THE FUCK DOES AJOUT MEAN??? **


Veuillez noter l'ajout du cours SOC4517 à la session d'hiver 2007.
Description Élaboration et réalisation d'une recherche fondée sur les méthodes quantitatives. Élaboration de la problématique, collecte et analyse de données, rédaction d'un rapport final de recherche. Apprentissage de la construction de questionnaires et d'autres outils de recherche quantitatifs. Traitement informatique et analyse des données. Préalable : SOC3542. (Antérieurement : SOC3541)
SOC4517 A (Jan 4 - Avr 11)
LEC 1: Lundi 11;30 - 13;00
LEC 2: Jeudi 13;00 - 14;30
Vous pouvez apporter des changements à votre horaire jusqu'au 17 janvier 2007.


And I'm sure that by Merci, they mean: With love from the dumb FuckWits who run your school.

So, I sent them this email back because I feared that my brains were about to spew out my ears onto myroommate's lovely leather couch and really? I have no idea how I would clean my own brain matter off my roommate's lovely leather couch.

TO: The dumb FuckWits who run my School
Subject: Re: Ajout du cours SOC4517


I'm an English speaking student. What does this email say and why is it in French? Does it pertain to my program of study, or was it sent to me by mistake?

Thank you.

And actually, by Thank You, I meant I hope you Donkey Ball Sucking AssHoles Rot For All Eternity Where Institutions Insist on Sending You Correspondence In Languages You Don't Understand.

So, they sent me this witty number back:

From: Donkey Ball Sucking AssHoles Who Will Rot For All Eternity Where Institutions Will Insist on Sending them Correspondence in Languages They Don't Understand
Subject:Re: Ajout du cours SOC4517


This email is french because the course added to the winter timetable is given in french.

Thank you,

Have a nice day.

By Have a nice day, they actually meant: I Like Sucking Donkey Balls, Especially When Said Balls are Attached to Donkeys that Speak Languages I Don't Understand.

NOW do you people see why I hate my school? I get things like this ALL the time. And I know, I know, I'm kind of prone to being hysterical ALL the time. But when I first saw this first email, my head almost rolled off my shoulders. I was thinking, is this some mandatory class that I have to take or I won't graduate?

Because this school has done things to me in the past like say "By the way, you're not getting a degree at the end of this because we fucked your shit up." And it took mighty amounts of screaming, crying, hollering, my mom trying to fix things, and I believe there was me laying on the floor of Hell with a five pound bag of peanut M & Ms involved there, too. And about sixteen bottles of beer. (Cow sedatives hadn't yet entered my life.)

And they are SO RUDE to me. All I want to do is finish this damn thing that I started. All I want to do is go to my classes, and have my questions answered. I DO MY DAMNDEST to keep myself under control. I am POLITE AS ALL FUCKING HELL every time I go to deal with these people. It's like a peace offering. Like: Here, I'll wear makeup and look good and smile meekly and be real pleasant if you all just TRY to speak English to me.

But, no.

I imagine I'll print out a copy of the email and ask one of my French reading co-workers what it means. I'm not sure if it means that this is some French Class I have to take in order to graduate, or if the email was sent to me by accident.

At any rate, there's no Jack Daniels handy and I am really, really regretting the decision to not have a sixty ouncer on hand at all times for the rest of this schoo year.(Oh, Mom, I'm kidding.....)



Anonymous Jummy said...

Aww, well never you mind. They are just telling you there's a new course, and what followed was its description and no mention of the fact that it's compulsory for your graduation. You've undoubtedly figured it out now. The only reason I can think of that they'd send it to you is so that on the off chance that you wanted to go from "I can barely remember a single word in French" to "I failed this 4th year sociology course and now I can't graduate because I can barely remember a single word in French", they won't be accused of not giving you the chance!

You'll make it!

3:45 a.m.  
Blogger Smilin Tweety said...

*sigh* U of O

8:44 p.m.  

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