Saturday, December 09, 2006

Overwhelmed by life, Part III

Blogging is hard sometimes, because you never know what you should write about where the world can read it, and what you should keep private.

The last few months for me have been some of the worst months of my life. These months have been bleak, scary, and sometimes downright terrifying.

I have a few people to thank for helping me make it through. I'm not out of the forrest yet, I don't think. But I've been handed a compass, and with the right help from the right people, I'll be able to make it out.

I don't think words can describe how lucky I am to have my roommate. She put up with my in my darkest hours. She pestered me to see if everything was ok when she knew it wasn't. Thursday I needed someone and she was there. She dressed me, took my hand, and led me where I needed to go. She held me while I cried, stood by me when I thought that no one in this world would. She left her exam studying behind, and put me as her first priority. Dear, sweet, wonderful rommate: I may very well owe you my life.

Joomy and Dave, you stayed up with me late into the night, many, many times. If it weren't for Joomy's blog, I'd have no idea what is going on in her life because every time we've talked on the phone or online, we've only been talking about me. Dave, I think you should start up a blog for the mere purpose of filling me in on what's been going on in your life lately, so I can catch up, because you, too, have listened to only me when I needed to blather incessantly.

My dear and wonderful parents. Once again, you dropped everything and ran to me when I needed you most. I was thinking about a day, twenty two and a half years ago.That day was during a massive heat wave. My mother weighed over a hundred and eighty pounds, went to the hospital, and delivered a ten pound baby girl without and epidural. Sometimes the guilt overwhelms me, not that I weighted ten pounds or that I was born during a heat wave, but it overwhlems me to this day that my parents are there: waiting, waiting, waiting, and then they are there. Catching me when I need it most, wrapping me up in comfy jammies and feeding me my favorite foods. They comfort me, they hug me, they tell me everything is going to be ok. What kind of love is that? That it can go on for all these years, that it can survive all the ridiculous mistakes I've made, that it can perservere even though I'm probably the most difficult person to deal with on this planet?

I'm back at The Ranch now. I apologize in advance because I may not be posting too much or too often. I'm still going to be writing me exams even though I have a note to have them deferred. It's a long story....

At any rate, here I am, with my little compass, in my warmest, most coziest jammies. My dad promised to make me breakfast today. No one in this world makes a breakfast like my dad.



Blogger Siuan said...

I am glad you are in a safe place with people who love you. Take care.

2:50 p.m.  
Anonymous Jummy said...

I'm proud of you, Amandapants.

3:49 a.m.  

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