Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I can't stop eating crackers....

When I was seventeen, I had mono. Not only did I lose the entirety of my C-cup boobs, but I began a habit that wouldn't be easily stopped: I was eating Cheez Whiz by the jar, on everything I could think to put Cheez Whiz on, in quantities so vast that I'm surprised my skin hasn't tured the color orange.

I'm not sure if it's part of being a crazy person, but for lengths of time I go without eating anything outside the range of certain food products. At seventeen I simply could not stop eating Cheez Whiz on Texas Toast. Alternately, I ate it on vegetables, croissants, regular bread if I was forced, and occasionally straight from the jar.

In my first year of college, and after that, my first year of university, I could not stop eating Kraft Easy Mac. I ate it every day for those two years, never able to escape its Cheesy Goodness. If you leave a bowl that you've cooked Easy Mac in by the sink over night, it turns a radioactive shade of orange and screams "This is a picture of your intestines. Stop eating me now."

Last fall it was mints, and over the winter it was crossants and salami.

More recently, it has become crackers. I have developed a love and affinity for crackers that words can not begin to describe. Their salty blandness, their crunch, their ability to absorb the beer that is wafting nimbly about my stomach: crackers simply make my heart smile and my stomach happy.

There would generally be a point to a blog entry like this one. Like, the life lesson I've learned from ingesting large quantities of a single food product for months on end is?

There isn't one.

I just felt the need to share with the world my currently undying love for crackers. Salted top ones, no name or Premium Plus brand. Either or, crackers are really rocking my socks right now.

All hail the mighty crackers.




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