I'm going to bed now... I swear....

I was just sitting here, not sleeping, and thinking about stupid people. They exist in many forms. And I was sitting here thinking about how my back is kind of achey (Probably the 106 year old bed); I was thinking about how my sinuses are congested, my throat is scratchy, and I'm awake. So I was sitting here thinking about my ailments and about stupid people (Especially stupid people in the form of customers. They really get my goat) and suddenly, it struck me: I am one of the stupid people.

I've been sitting in my bed suffering for hours now, with my sinuses and my back and my throat, and my wakefulness and it took me until three in the morning to realize that I have mass quantities of drugs to solve each and every one of these problems right here in my bedroom!

I have sinus pills! No name ones! My mom buys me Tylenol and Motrin in family packs. I'm not a family: I'm one person! But by God, this one person will never have to suffer the consequences of another headache or backache again in this life! And my throat is scratchy, but Hel-lo? I have cough sysrup and Halls lozenges in the bathroom which is all of ten feet away from me.

AND I have heavy duty sedatives or heavy duty sleeping pills to choose from if I want to sleep.

And this leads me to wonder: How many people can lay in their bed at three in the morning and know with one hundred per cent certainty that they have all the solutions to life's problems within ten feet of where they lay?

I sure as Hell can!

And now I'm wondering, who am I to be lazing in bed, suffering from all kinds of ailments, thinking about other stupid people in the world when it took me three hours to come up with a plan to combat these ailments?

And now, Dear Internet, I can sleep. And my family's motto will reign on through the quiet of the night. (That motto, in case you were wondering, is: Take the damn drugs! To which I reply: Take them! Hell, take two!)

Good night, Internet. My sinuses should be fine in 3... 2.... 1....

Toonses