Sunday, August 20, 2006

My new job is wildly interesting....

So, working my new job at the drugstore is wildly entertaining.

First, I have to say that I pity the fool who marries me.

Why?

Well, I've made it no secret in my life that I'm a terrible prude. I pity the fool who marries me because he'll spend the rest of his life in the "Feminine Paper" section of the drugstore. (Yes, that's what my drugstore calls the aisle that sells all girly-related things. Feminine Paper. Nice.)

I can't buy these things.

I still make my mom buy all Tampax related necessities.

I'm 22.

I know how sad this is.

To make matters worse, I make her buy these products at Costco, so she can get them in bulk.

I currently have enough "Feminine Paper" products in my hall closet to stop up Niagara Falls. Because SuperNan is gracious enough to buy them in bulk for me.

Today a man came to my checkout with a full supply of "Feminine Paper" products. He was grumbling about how he hates to make such purchases.

I found it hilarious, because a few short years from now, this will inevitably be my husband. The poor sap.

Among my other favorite sales to make are those involving Prophylactics. I'm all for safe sex. But there is really nothing more amusing to me than some patheitc fifteen year old coming in to buy studded condoms.

Because, you know, there's nothing that his equally inexperienced girlfriend would rather experience than having sex with something textured like sandpaper.

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In other news, SuperNan is much like Dr. Phil.

She says things all the time like "Happiness is a choice. Make it."

And you know, she's so right.

There is nothing about my life worth hating. I have a wonderful family. I wouldn't trade one single member of my family for all the love, tea, and money in China. I really wouldn't.

I have a roommate who is willing to put up with me when I sit on our communal couch and cry about my life. She feeds my cat when I forget (Because, apparently, I've been so out of it the last few days that I've forgotten about my precious Coperni-kitty). She lists all the ways that I cna make my life better for me when I'm so pissed off about a bad day at work that I cna't think straight.

And, she recommends cases of Buck-A-Beer on nights like tonight.

And I accidentally drank the whole case.

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One more thing that's been on my mind lately: The tenses of the word "drink'.

Like, did I just "drink" a case of Buck-A-Beer? Or have I just "Drunk" a case of Buck-A-Beer? Or have I "Dranken" a case of Buck-A-Beer?

Sigh. These are the thoughts that plague my mind.

Toonses

2 Comments:

Anonymous shannon said...

Instead of "feminine paper" you need the Diva Cup! Never buy "paper" again. Trust me! :)

9:50 PM  
Blogger Siuan said...

Trust me you will most likely grow out of your prudeness. I did! So don't sweat it! My hubby buys my feminine products when I need him to but I'm okay with buying them now even from a guy clerk.hehe

6:08 PM  

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