Sunday, May 14, 2006

Connected!!

Back in the city for a few quick days. Coperni-kitty and I are ever so happy in our new place.

I have solved Copernicus's odor problem. It was solved with the non-certified kitten chow from Wal-Mart. If the damn cat gets rickets at this point, I have a wonderful balcony that would be just perfect for tossing a kitten off of.

Well, I wouldn't actually balcony-toss my cat. Sheesh.
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This week I have five consecutive days in a row off work. How do these things happen to me?! I'm so thrilled! Thank you, Dear BossMan!! This gives me a perfect oportunity to head back to the ranch and start the garden for the year. Produce this season includes Green beans, Yellow beans, Cucumber, Peas, Sweet Corn, and of course, Canteloupe for the five year old in my life.
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I hate Karma.

Karma is a bitch.

All my life, I've detested those people who moan and whine about their back pain. They have irritated me endlessly since time began. In fact, they rank right up there with those idiots who feel a slight tingling behind their left eye and go on to anyone who will listen about their migraine headache pain. And those other idiots who turn without signaling, or those other idiots who buy organic tofu.

Back pain whiners make me want to stab myself in the eye with a pitch fork. Twice.

For the Karma part of this entry? I have had a back injury in my lifetime. It was nasty and unpleasant. It resulted in me losing feeling in my right leg. Occasionally it strikes me to this day, and it is fairly... not nice.

Today, I've been stricken by a different type of back pain. Perhaps this is God's way of punishing me for wishing a heart attack on the fuckshit who was snippety about the amount of salt I put on his sub. Either way, I can hardly move.

I've taken five Ibuprofen pills and three Tylenol pills, and the pain has only subsided a little bit. It took me about ten minutes to get into my socks this morning before work and my coworkers spent the morning laughing at me as I had to stoop at the knees and occasionally kneel right down on the floor to get the bread out of the humidity stabilizer and into the oven.

It was not a fun morning.

One co-worker was so helpful as to suggest that perhaps it is my hundred and five year old bed that is causing the problem.

If I have to deal with one more issue surrounding that bed in my lifetime, I will throw myself off the balcony.

While my co-worker was giggling hysterically at the possiblity (Or, more likely, the probability) of my mattress being made of straw, I was forced to hobble back to my purse and fetch more painkillers. It was either that or kill her with disposable bread slicing knives, and I didn't have enough energy for a homicide at that point in my day.

The good news is that my dear friend is coming over for dinner tonight. We're doing it up discount style with some Hamburger Helper and no name cola for dinner. Usually when we get together, we end up spending about eighty dollars each on booze and food in a single night. We're trying to avoid that happening as we are now responsible, mature adults who have rent to pay.

And if that goes out the window, at least we are credit-card holders who, if all else fails, can resort to a little help from our friends at Visa for a good time. Our friends at Visa never let us down.

Now that is a friend indeed.

Toonses

2 Comments:

Blogger NursePam said...

LOL! I have always hated listening to people whine about their ills; unless of course they were an actual patient. In which case I am good at sympathizing and medicating.

When my nurses whine to me about their aches, pains, and illnesses I tell them "Go away. I'm not your mother." ;^)

Hope your back is better very soon. Swimming and yoga are the best things for back pain.

10:57 AM  
Blogger Anastasia said...

Feel Better!!!! If you want to you can sleep in my bed while I'm gone. Just bring your own blankets and dont leave me any socks.

Ive posted some photos if you want to check them out.

2:43 PM  

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