Please?

Please, Dear World and whatever else is out there that is willing to listen:

Please, please, please could I have a job? Could I have one that allows some semblance of social life, whereby I work when the rest of the world works and play when the rest of the world plays?

Could I have an evening to sit and watch TV with my family? Could I be guaranteed vacation time? Could I have a vacation?

Could I go out to a bar on a weekend with my friends and not have to get up and rush to work the next day?

Could I have two days off in a row?

Could I try to have a social gathering on some night other than a Monday night because my night off is a night other than a Monday night?

PLEASE CAN I HAVE THIS JOB?

I have to say that I really feel like I rocked the interview. I was dressed appropriately, I wore lucky underwear, my shoes were shiny and I was free of lint. My eye makeup was just right, I didn't have food stuck in my teeth, I shook people's hands with just the right amount of force and I was punctual and pleasant.

The woman recognized the name of one of my references and I hope she didn't think that I was trying to name drop or get a favor, but my reference tells me I'm as good as in.

All I have to do is wait for my call.

It is times like these that I wish I was a more patient person.