Just When You Think You're Making Progress...

Typically when I start dating someone, when I go out a few times and feel like I might start to like someone, I try to keep it to myself. Joomy might not believe me, but I really do tell very few people. There are several reasons for this: One, when my feet find themselves back on the ground again, the breakup is easier to deal with if you don't have to tell anyone.

Ok, I said several reasons, but that's the only one I can think of.

This most recent individual is a coworker as well, and we work in a field where we are quite literally shoulder to shoulder for most of our shifts. I suppose the main reason I didn't want anyone to know about it is that. I like to keep my home life entirely separate from my work life, and if people were to find out that I was seeing this individual, it wouldn't be separate any more.

I chose today, in the way I often do, to inform this most recent individual that I couldn't spend time with him any more, that he shouldn't write or call or send pictures or stand beneath my bedroom window singing love songs because I simply can't cope with this relationship at this point in time.

And now we have to deal with the fallout, which was why I thought this was such a bad idea in the first place.

I just didn't think the fallout would come so soon, that after a single day I'd no longer have someone to talk about nothing with and that once more, I'd feel like ice picks are being plunged again and again into the depths of my being.

I think that one of the most discomfitting things about this whole situation is that tonight, when SuperNan was making EggNog, she came to me and asked, "Do you have any booze? Some scotch or whiskey? Or anything?"

And I was all like "For Fuck's SAKE, I do NOT HAVE any booze, not a beer or a drop of tequila or even any FUCKING COOKING SHERRY."

And you know, since I moved back home, I've made a concerted effort to tone down the drinking, to not stockpile alcohol and act like someone who can't live without it. But I'm really starting to think, would it BE SO BAD to be one of those people who keeps a mickey stored in the back of the toilet? WOULD IT BE SUCH A CRIME???