Do you hear that?

"Hear what?"

"That!"

"The whole lot of nothing?"

"Yes. The house. It's quiet."

"How... Odd."

"That's what I was thinking."

"Well, change is good. This could be a good thing. Empty house. Quiet house. American houseguests gone back to the land of the free."

"Yes. But now who's going to bring us coffees in the morning?!"

"Oh, Shit. I forgot about that."

"Have you thought about the beer?? Have you thought about who's going to go get us beer when we're too tired to drive?"

"Dammit --"

"WHAT ABOUT THE DRUGS?! HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHO IS GOING TO WRITE US PRESCRIPTIONS FOR OUR AILMENTS NOW THAT OUR DOCTORS ARE GONE?!?"

*Sob*

"What will we do?!"

"We will stand. We will breathe. We will put ourselves into a motorized vehicle. We will drive that vehicle to Chapters, where we will purchase an entire season's income's worth of crappy novels. Then we will go to the liquor store. SCREW THIS CANADIAN IDEA OF SOFTY-ASSED BEER. We will buy vodka."

*Nod*

"We will carry on the only way we know how."